Local Olympian: Gold Medal Worthy?

My dad really loves the Olympics. I mean, really loves the Olympics. We're talking all Olympics, all the time. He loves them so much that he wanted to try his hand at an all new obscure Olympic sport, right up there with trampoline jumping (What?! When do you catch the dream of becoming the gold medalist in jumping on a trampoline?). We'll call this all new sport, ah, "How much weight will my ceiling support if I climb up in the attic and stand on it, between the studs!" or maybe "Man vs. Drywall". Kind of has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

We missed the mount, and most of the routine, but here he is coming into the dismount. This takes incredible control and upper body strength.

Nice look at the judges, confidence or surprise at the "success" of the routine?
Not sure, but eye contact is always good.
Here he is demonstrating his
"I can dangle my entire body using only one arm for support"
move. Very difficult sequence.

After the dismount, gazing at a job well done.
Who won, the ceiling, or Dad?
At first glance, I would say definitely Dad.

At second glance, the great silver chest/back that is my Dad probably has more painful and longer lasting damage than the drywall.

In his post event interview Mr. Mil was quoted saying,
"I felt like Harry Potter traveling through the flue network. One second I was in the attic, and the next I was in the kitchen."


As the only competitor in this event, Dad was awarded the gold medal.
What a guy, an Olympian and a Grandpa too.

How do I know you?

Oh right, we used to take down drug lords together!

So Hoss & I were out shopping this afternoon and to say the least, we learned some interesting facts about meth. What did we learn you ask? Well, meth trafficking is ever increasing in Wyoming. We have larger quantites coming in less frequently around the state and smaller quantities coming into Cheytown, but more frequently. So who shared this information with us? Well, only Hoss's good friend, Bob Olive! Let me give you the play-by-play.

Man in his mid 40's stops Hoss in store aisle and says: Hey, hows it going?
Hoss: Good, how are you?
Man: Good, things are good.
Hoss: What are you doing these days?
Man: Oh, still prosecuting meth cases (glances at Rose).
Hoss: Oh yeah, is it getting to be more of a problem?
Man: (this is where we got our meth lesson).
Rose: Ah, I'm Rose by the way, Hoss's wife.
Man: Oh Hi, I'm Bob Olive.
Rose: Nice to meet you (shake hands), Hoss sometimes forgets to introduce me.
Man: Yeah, that's just a man thing (Why is that a man thing?).
Rose: (laugh laugh)
Man: (to Hoss) So what are you doing these days?
Hoss: Well, I actually started dental school this week down in Denver.
Man: Wow, no kidding.
Hoss: Yeah, we figured we would try it out and see how things go.
Man: Wow, from prosecuting meth cases to dental school. That is quite a career change.
Hoss: Uh-huh (What the heck is this guy talking about?)
Man: Well it was good to see you.
Hoss: You too.
Rose: Nice to meet you.
Man: Likewise.
Hoss: We'll talk to you later.
Man: Bye.
Hoss: Bye.

Hoss and Rose walk away.

Hoss: I didn't introduce you because I have no idea who that guy is.
Rose: (Can't stop laughing long enough to say anything)
Hoss: See, I can even fake being social!
Rose: (still laughing) You're sure you didn't used to be a lawyer?
Hoss: That is the worst case of mistaken identity I have ever had.

Can anyone picture Hoss in a courtroom, wearing a power suit, cross examining a drug dealer? I think I would rather him stick to putting in gold caps or diamonds studs on their front teeth. Lets leave the courtroom to Bob Olive.

Do you read your receipts?

Why do I shop at Wal-mart? Well because I am poor and Wal-mart is the best deal around.

Exhibit A: My receipt (my only exhibit)

This receipt is 16" long. I only bought 8 items, and believe it or not, this receipt is on the short side! Along with letting me know "We value your opinion" and giving me the opportunity to go online and complete a survey for the chance to win a $1000 shopping card, it also cautions that I must be 18 years or older to participate in the survey (totally unfair, if someone under 18 buys something at Wal-mart shouldn't they get the same opportunities as all of the customers 18 years or older?), as well as tells me that they carry "All you need for back to school, At our best-in-class prices". Oh, it also tells me in giant bold letters that I bought 8 items, in case I couldn't count. Only about 4 inches of this receipt contains information that I ever need to know again, and even then, most likely, probably never.

This waste of paper and marginally useless information has obviously bothered me for a while, so I did a little calculation. Wal-mart serves an average 138 million customers world wide per week. If every customer averages 8 items and a 16" receipt that is 2,208 million inches of paper. That translates into 34,848 miles of receipt paper per week. What does that mean? Well I am no math genius so my calculations are rough, but I figure that it is approximately 19,000 miles say from Denver, all the way around the world, and back to Denver. That means there is enough receipt paper put out by Wal-mart every week to wrap around the world almost twice! Nearly 100 times a year, and that doesn't account for the holidays. I confess I don't live as green as I could or should, but doesn't that translate into a lot of trees?

Wal-mart isn't the only offender, and call me crazy, but give us the option to not print a receipt, or at least cut out all of the useless information that my bet is no one every reads. And to the guy who does, he must be winning a lot of free shopping cards. Wish I were him.