Local Olympian: Gold Medal Worthy?

My dad really loves the Olympics. I mean, really loves the Olympics. We're talking all Olympics, all the time. He loves them so much that he wanted to try his hand at an all new obscure Olympic sport, right up there with trampoline jumping (What?! When do you catch the dream of becoming the gold medalist in jumping on a trampoline?). We'll call this all new sport, ah, "How much weight will my ceiling support if I climb up in the attic and stand on it, between the studs!" or maybe "Man vs. Drywall". Kind of has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

We missed the mount, and most of the routine, but here he is coming into the dismount. This takes incredible control and upper body strength.

Nice look at the judges, confidence or surprise at the "success" of the routine?
Not sure, but eye contact is always good.
Here he is demonstrating his
"I can dangle my entire body using only one arm for support"
move. Very difficult sequence.

After the dismount, gazing at a job well done.
Who won, the ceiling, or Dad?
At first glance, I would say definitely Dad.

At second glance, the great silver chest/back that is my Dad probably has more painful and longer lasting damage than the drywall.

In his post event interview Mr. Mil was quoted saying,
"I felt like Harry Potter traveling through the flue network. One second I was in the attic, and the next I was in the kitchen."


As the only competitor in this event, Dad was awarded the gold medal.
What a guy, an Olympian and a Grandpa too.

How do I know you?

Oh right, we used to take down drug lords together!

So Hoss & I were out shopping this afternoon and to say the least, we learned some interesting facts about meth. What did we learn you ask? Well, meth trafficking is ever increasing in Wyoming. We have larger quantites coming in less frequently around the state and smaller quantities coming into Cheytown, but more frequently. So who shared this information with us? Well, only Hoss's good friend, Bob Olive! Let me give you the play-by-play.

Man in his mid 40's stops Hoss in store aisle and says: Hey, hows it going?
Hoss: Good, how are you?
Man: Good, things are good.
Hoss: What are you doing these days?
Man: Oh, still prosecuting meth cases (glances at Rose).
Hoss: Oh yeah, is it getting to be more of a problem?
Man: (this is where we got our meth lesson).
Rose: Ah, I'm Rose by the way, Hoss's wife.
Man: Oh Hi, I'm Bob Olive.
Rose: Nice to meet you (shake hands), Hoss sometimes forgets to introduce me.
Man: Yeah, that's just a man thing (Why is that a man thing?).
Rose: (laugh laugh)
Man: (to Hoss) So what are you doing these days?
Hoss: Well, I actually started dental school this week down in Denver.
Man: Wow, no kidding.
Hoss: Yeah, we figured we would try it out and see how things go.
Man: Wow, from prosecuting meth cases to dental school. That is quite a career change.
Hoss: Uh-huh (What the heck is this guy talking about?)
Man: Well it was good to see you.
Hoss: You too.
Rose: Nice to meet you.
Man: Likewise.
Hoss: We'll talk to you later.
Man: Bye.
Hoss: Bye.

Hoss and Rose walk away.

Hoss: I didn't introduce you because I have no idea who that guy is.
Rose: (Can't stop laughing long enough to say anything)
Hoss: See, I can even fake being social!
Rose: (still laughing) You're sure you didn't used to be a lawyer?
Hoss: That is the worst case of mistaken identity I have ever had.

Can anyone picture Hoss in a courtroom, wearing a power suit, cross examining a drug dealer? I think I would rather him stick to putting in gold caps or diamonds studs on their front teeth. Lets leave the courtroom to Bob Olive.

Do you read your receipts?

Why do I shop at Wal-mart? Well because I am poor and Wal-mart is the best deal around.

Exhibit A: My receipt (my only exhibit)

This receipt is 16" long. I only bought 8 items, and believe it or not, this receipt is on the short side! Along with letting me know "We value your opinion" and giving me the opportunity to go online and complete a survey for the chance to win a $1000 shopping card, it also cautions that I must be 18 years or older to participate in the survey (totally unfair, if someone under 18 buys something at Wal-mart shouldn't they get the same opportunities as all of the customers 18 years or older?), as well as tells me that they carry "All you need for back to school, At our best-in-class prices". Oh, it also tells me in giant bold letters that I bought 8 items, in case I couldn't count. Only about 4 inches of this receipt contains information that I ever need to know again, and even then, most likely, probably never.

This waste of paper and marginally useless information has obviously bothered me for a while, so I did a little calculation. Wal-mart serves an average 138 million customers world wide per week. If every customer averages 8 items and a 16" receipt that is 2,208 million inches of paper. That translates into 34,848 miles of receipt paper per week. What does that mean? Well I am no math genius so my calculations are rough, but I figure that it is approximately 19,000 miles say from Denver, all the way around the world, and back to Denver. That means there is enough receipt paper put out by Wal-mart every week to wrap around the world almost twice! Nearly 100 times a year, and that doesn't account for the holidays. I confess I don't live as green as I could or should, but doesn't that translate into a lot of trees?

Wal-mart isn't the only offender, and call me crazy, but give us the option to not print a receipt, or at least cut out all of the useless information that my bet is no one every reads. And to the guy who does, he must be winning a lot of free shopping cards. Wish I were him.

PROS & CONS: Life in San Diego

2 days, 1200 miles, and a really long car ride later, we hail again from Wyoming...but only for a couple of weeks. Here is a bit about San Diego if you are considering moving there, or just want a great vacation.

CONS:
1. Our families are both 1200-ish miles away
2. Gas Prices: We paid $4.96 for gas, and when you commute a total of 56 miles a day, it is really hard on the bank account!
3. Traffic: if you live in San Diego get a job near your house, or a house near your job.
4. The police are too busy writing parking tickets to fight crime.

Case in point: I got a ticket at this location for parking facing downhill on a hill and not cramping my wheels. First of all, I think it is questionable how much of a "hill" I am parked on, and secondly, shouldn't laws like this be posted, and thirdly, what the heck does "cramping" mean? I thought cramping was a blessed feeling only for those of the female gender, but apparently, it actually means to turn your wheels towards the curb. Somehow I don't think Midol is going to help me out of this $48 ticket!

PROS:
1. The Weather-between 65 and 80 degrees all of the time! Who wouldn't love that?
2. The Beach
3. Seaworld
4. The FRESH fruit!
5. Hoss's green thumb

Hoss planted these tomato plants and thanks to the fabulous sunshine and his talent there were many tiny green tomatoes sprouting when we left. He also grew a zucchini plant, basil, and saved the lemon thyme from the brink of death, along with most of the in-house greenery.

6. Breakfast Burritos from Albertacos
7. Shopping
8. Avacados!
9. Anything from Rubios
10. The San Diego Temple

11. Gordita shells made right there in San Diego and stocked at the local Costco
12. Spanish immersion
13. Pretty much all of the Mexican food
14. Legoland

I tried to battle Darth Vader, but it was too scary for me, so I passed my light saber off to Super Hoss. He had to pull some fancy footwork, but we both walked away from it, so I think we can call it a win-maybe because DV is made completely out of Lego.

15. The Hoopes

The best reason to live in San Diego. We gotta love 'em cause their family, but we really love 'em. We basically lived in a 5 star bed & breakfast with a 5 star chef for 3 months. We had great conversation, hours in the jacuzzi, and loads of fun. We really miss them.

The Hoopes- Mig, Uncle T and Big T

Yup, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. Now I just have to convince Hoss...

Bargain Shopper Imposter

I freely and proudly admit to being a bargain shopper. Ross, TJ-Maxx, Marshalls, Nordstrom Rack, etc. If you can buy a shirt for $10, name that store and I am there. In fact, I stock my wardrobe with items from these stores so much, that when I actually go to a department store or the mall I am appalled at the inflated prices! Given my innumerable visits to said stores, I feel that I can say with some conviction that to be a bargain shopper, you must possess certain qualities.

1. Patience-sometimes you really have to search for the good stuff and sometimes you have to wait a while in the check out line.

2. Time-it is almost impossible to go to one of these stores for a quick look around, and sometimes you have to wait a while in the check out line.

3. Understanding- expect average to below average customer service, not because the staff is incompetent, but these people are getting minimum wage, it doesn't pay for them to kiss up to the customers, so sometimes you have to wait a while in the check out line.

4. Limited Funds (not necessary in all cases, I hope to always be a bargain shopper and always be appalled at the price of clothing at stores in the mall).

With my expert sleuthing skills, I believe I discovered an impostor on my most recent visit to Marshalls. Believe it or not, I actually did stop for a quick look around with my primary objective being to return some apparel (a difficult to avoid trap in the mind of the bargain shopper...I don't love it, but I like it okay, and it is only $8 bucks, so I will get it anyway...I could be wearing designer jeans with the money I have spent on $8 clothes over the years! But, I have turned over a new leaf recently, if I don't wear it within two weeks, I have to return it, but that is a whole other post...back to the impostor). After about 20 minutes of browsing I decided I would rather go home, so I headed to the checkout line with my returns. Tic-toc, 10 minutes go by. A 7-ish year old boy is skating around on his roller shoes and the checker asks his mother to contain her child for the duration of their time in Marshalls. There were only two checkers, one with an Italian woman and some resulting language confusion, and the other with a little lady who had a lot of baby clothes to check out. Tic-toc, another 10 minutes. I wasn't really in a hurry, and there was a whole rack of purses in front of me, and I was oddly satisfied when I identified a leather Coach bag before I even picked it up. Time for my visual.

All of a sudden, behind me a bit, the 7-ish boy forgets that he isn't supposed to be rolling in his roller shoes in the store. So his mother, right in front of me, chucks her shoe box and stationery kit over Impulse Buy Aisle #1 at the check out counter (Appropriate response?). Turns to leave, and shoves by me (Um, excuse me, sorry I am standing here?) Brushes by the woman behind me, then turns back to her son and says loudly,

Mom: "Offspring, get over here!"

Offspring: "Mom, what are you doing?"

Mom: "We're leaving"

Offspring: "Why did you..."

Mom: "If they didn't take so darn long..."

She then rushed out of the store practically without her son, and left the rest of us kind of stunned. Did a grown woman really just chuck her purchases at the check-out counter? Yup, she did. So what was wrong with this woman? Was she posing as a bargain shopper? Did she lack patience, time, and understanding? If nothing else, I think it is safe to say that she didn't love the shoes, they were just "okay", and definitely not worth waiting around for.

In her defense, there is always a story you don't know. Maybe she really wanted some designer jeans.

Hoss Games

Alright everyone knows I do a little gaming, so I thought I would let you know of one of my favorites, Settlers of Catan (settlers for short), but what most don't know is I much prefer to play the Cities and Knights expansion to the game. Simply put settlers is about a forth as fun. So I'm promoting an upgrade to those I play with, LEARN TO PLAY KNIGHTS. Of course I wouldn't let you just hang, I'm going to help you learn.

Everyone reading this will go Immediately to http://games.asobrain.com/ and make a user (upper left corner, click register). Sign up is free, no email messages, etc... it's simply your gaming name. Now click play, lots of games come up, you want Xplorer (code name for Settlers). Ranking C&K is cities and knights and Ranking Basic is plain old boring Settlers. Click on Ranking C&K, if nothing comes up but a blank screen, download and install Java run time environment (google java). Next join a game in the "waiting for players" section or "create game", you will want to join or create a game with the following titles, default island, default expansion, default official island. The other ones are fun, but you should join those after you get the hang of Cities and Knights.

Anyway let me know how it goes, and remember you should do this right away, once you learn, cities and knights takes no longer to play and adds so much to Settlers.

Hoss Tech

Something to think about. I'm no Windows fan, but I love the compatibility it offers (virtually compatible with everything). Mac's OSX looks pretty, but lacks (in extreme) software, freeware, and hardware. Not to mention a price tag that is 2 too 3 times as much as a pc (now with the switch to x86 and Intel, hardware is IDENTICAL, so what is with the price). Linux, I really love the idea of Linux, looks great, very simple and clean OS (more like mac), and good support for hardware (like PC), but you have to be geek to run it, and sometimes I don't have time to be geek (compiling drivers and looking for kernel spacific software).

So what do I do, wait for some kid in some garage to come out with the next big thing, yep thats it. Micorosoft is to big and to (somebody post and remind me of the "to" and "too rule", thanks) many people demand the compatibility it offers, even rely on it, as it runs software they have used for the last ten years. But they are locked in, make huge amounts of money, and are thus slow to change (or they make huge changes all at once and blow it, and blow it hard = Vista). Mac is to small and anal (=anus), they don't really care about the majority and like it that way, kind of like some people eat bugs, but lets be honest, most don't. So they will do little to make a really great OS and give it to everyone at a great price, they are more worried about getting music into your pocket so they can get some money in thiers, because they don't make money selling computers. Linux, o Linux, way to small and as stated above, in a simple word, Geek.

Someone please kill, barbeque, and eat Microsoft! crush, snort white plastic, and come down of their Macgasmic high! punch, kick, and tell Linux to get a life and do something....so I can have an OS i like. Please, anyone, anyone.

This is a good read, in the same vein, give it a shot.
http://overclockers.com/tips01345/

Question, does anyone read this and think those are good ideas, or am I the fat kid that finds himself talking to everyone and then relizing everyone is blank stairing and thinking "DORK".